In the heart of the firefighting community, Eva Williams stands as a testament to courage and dedication. As a retired engineer from the Santa Rosa Fire Department, Eva’s career was marked by unwavering commitment to safeguarding lives and property against the ravages of fire. But even the strongest among us can face challenges that require a different kind of support.

In her inspiring testimonial, Eva shares candidly her journey and personal experience with Be the Change in Mental Health.

Read on as Eva Williams, a hero in both her professional and personal life, opens up about how Ketamine Therpay helped her find new strength in her retirement years.

“Dr. Marisha Chilcott never ceases to amaze me with her energy and ideas, as well as her true dedication to mental wellness and health for everyone! She has dedicated her life to serving others with her boundless energy. I highly recommend Be the Change in Mental Health. Dr. Chilcott and her team continue to fine tune the education and treatment for mental health using Ketamine Assisted Therapy.

I was in an anxiety loop. I had constant physical manifestations like sweaty palms, a quivering stomach, a lump in my throat, sweaty palms so bad I couldn’t keep my hands dry, even sweaty feet all the way to my lower calf. Where did it start? The triggers could have been anything. It just had been going on for so long, some symptoms coming or going, others showing up in other ways. For example, my mind or my brain – old grooves, new tracks.

My mind was filled with “What if…” I found myself catastrophizing and planning, looking for a solution for something that had not even happened yet but I was ready, not only for the scenario but the consequences and the remedy. Plan B.

What if…?

Then

Even in conversations I have in my head with another person who isn’t even there. Well, if she says this, then I would say that…

It is exhausting.

I noticed the change gradually after the ketamine retreat. The initial boost of the ketamine euphoria seemed to wane as I reentered my life after retreat. Faced with the same circumstances as before but with a new layer of protection, the reminder that new tracks had to be laid. New habits. New habits compared to the old, noticing what I’m doing when the anxiety comes up. What triggers it? What changes can I make?

The two subtle things I noticed first were that I had been using a night guard for about a year because I was clenching at night causing pain in my teeth. After the retreat I forgot to put it in and I haven’t really been using it since and I haven’t noticed any pain in the mornings.

The second is that I had been using a tincture of 1:1 THC:CBD under my tongue every night to help me sleep through the night without waking up to catastrophic thoughts and sweaty palms. I abstained for the retreat and coincidentally ran out at the same time. I haven’t been back to get more since then. Now I sleep through until the cat wakes me and sometimes I begin to make plans and consider what’s ahead of me but I feel my mind is more clear when I wake up. Sometimes my palms are sweaty but not always. I try to notice – what is triggering? Acknowledgement.

I highly recommend the retreat setting for the Ketamine Assisted Therapy and having multiple sessions in one setting, especially because the location is so beautiful! I like the idea of being able to step into nature before and after the treatments. The natural beauty of the landscape and tranquility of Bishop’s Ranch enhance the experience. I like being able to stay in one place for the duration, away from cars, traffic and daily life. It is a true retreat! I enjoy the ketamine experience in the group setting in this isolated location and the shared experience with other women. I felt safe in the confidentiality of the group, free from judgement or to have to arrange for a ride and then follow up with a therapist on my own. BTC is a one-stop shop!

The BTC staff were so caring and attentive to our needs. They were hopeful for us in our journey and so professional in the approach even in our apprehension at the beginning. By the end, we could all appreciate the benefits. It was a place to get started in our healing.

The Bishop’s Ranch is a magical sanctuary perched atop a knoll overlooking the valley below and Healdsburg beyond. Views of Mt. St. Helena and Geyser Peak offer spectacular sunsets and views of the valley and mountains. We gather for meals in the dining hall for delicious, healthy meals in conversation and fellowship. The chapel is always open for meditation and prayer.

We make our way back and debrief with the medical and psychological staff, spend time alone, go for a walk in nature or make a collage in the craft cabin. It is all so healing. A blizzard, a layer of new white snow. Fresh tracks.

Dr. Chilcott is dedicated to being able to provide this valuable therapy. I have benefited from this therapy at her peaceful, tranquil office, as well as in the group setting at Bishop’s Ranch. She has been offering special pilot programs for small groups of women, veterans, firefighters and now she has a special offering for women firefighters. I encourage you to check out Be the Change in Mental Health.”

Eva Williams, Engineer

Santa Rosa Fire Department (Retired)